3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
