We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
