i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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