She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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