Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
