You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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