I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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