I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the liver wants what the liver wants
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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