Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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