so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
