If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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