When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize