I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize