Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
