thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
