dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
