well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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