New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
