wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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