I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
