Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
