I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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