Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
