Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
