Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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