Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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