I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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