I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
