Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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