You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups