So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.