clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
