oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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