shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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