Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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