Do vagina's smell?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
