Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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