your thong is hanging out like whoa
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
