There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
