sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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