whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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