if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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