Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Blood and glitter go together right?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
