I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
is it fun? or sober?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
