I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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