I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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