well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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