Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
