Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
