At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He felt like a one man threesome
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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