don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
