Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did angry sex become our thing?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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