the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
