we have officially lost it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
