My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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