ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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