But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
