so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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