Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize