he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
