Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
