I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
