I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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