Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
