Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
