I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
