Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
