Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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